Week in Review: Our suffering spouses

By Karamjit Singh July 11, 2014

Wives/husbands of entrepreneurs receive little credit
Compromises in quality of life the family is used to must be expected

Week in Review: Our suffering spouses OVER these past two weeks, I have met two people who wanted to hear first hand about my experiences as an entrepreneur. While I am reluctant to, as what I am experiencing is probably no different than the next entrepreneur, I won’t turn down a request to share.

Anyway, one of them is in my 40’s age bracket and felt my experiences, the mental and emotional part, would be relevant to him. The other is a Digital News Asia (DNA) reader in his mid-30s I interact with occasionally, who somehow felt my experiences would be useful to him, specifically in finding co-founders and in giving up equity for funding.

In fact, this gentleman suggested I create a Karamjit app so that others could share (virtually of course) in my experiences.

Don’t worry; I am not going there! (Editor’s Note: Well, that’s good to know!)

One of the key points I highlighted to them is the need to have the full and unquestioning support of their spouses because wives and husbands of entrepreneurs suffer a lot in this journey. This is almost never highlighted and they don’t get the recognition they should and deserve.

It is almost a one-way street. They listen to your frustrations over customers, partners, bureaucrats, staff, investors, friends who let you down and even co-founders.

But when it comes to their turn to share some of their work-related or family-related issues over the children or mother-in-law/father-in-law, how likely is it that they will get: “Please don’t bother me with these petty issues. You need to deal with them, darling, while I focus on building a better future for us all!”

Week in Review: Our suffering spouses Yes. Guilty as charged! But I am getting better. Promise!

I wasn't about to offer advice here but I did highlight this issue to them, so that they are aware and can better deal with it.

In fact, this was the first piece of advice that I got: Make sure you have the “full” (key word here), support of your spouse. And I may add this; tell them it is going to be at least a rough first two years with compromises in the quality of life the family is used to.

Some have thought you could go out and start building a company without compromising on the quality of life the family enjoyed previously. That’s dreamland thinking.

The two executives I spoke to both earn north of RM20,000 a month in their current jobs. Think they can even pay themselves half of that once committed to the rocky, turbulent path of an entrepreneur?

Just a peek into what some of this entails in life. I finally got a new air-conditioner for the bedroom and last night I overheard my children remarking on how this unit was so much better than the previous one that was not cool. The previous one was a 14-year old unit!

And speaking of spending, I also advise those about to become entrepreneurs to ensure you have a lot of untapped credit available through your credit card limits. This would allow you to close the monthly gaps in your budget.